NEWS CLUES: ‘So Local It Hurts’ Edition

WANTED: 1,000 Cheese Steak-Chomping Fat Guys To Say Dumb Shit On Camera

colbert-finger.gifStephen Colbert is headed back out on the campaign trail. No, he assured viewers of “The Colbert Report” last night, he is not reviving his presidential campaign. That was snuffed out last fall when Democratic officials in South Carolina voted him off the state’s primary ballot (and just before the television writers went on strike). Mr. Colbert said he is going to Philadelphia to report on the Pennsylvania primary for a few days in mid-April before the April 22 vote. He’ll be broadcasting his nightly comedy show from the University of Pennsylvania. [via NEW YORK TIMES]


TURD BURGLARS: Gay Porn Wonder Twin To Stand Trial For Rooftop Robberies

twin-25.jpgKYW: One of the twin brothers reported to be aspiring gay porn stars has been ordered to stand trial on charges he took part in three rooftop burglaries. Police say Keyontyli Goffney confessed, admitting he and his mother — who has not been charged — were the lookouts during a couple of the heists, while his brother, Taleon, chopped his way in through the roof. Prosecutor Aiton Blanc: “The first business at 900 Washington Avenue had approximately $300 to $400 in phone cards stolen, three cartons of Newport cigarettes were stolen, $1200 cash, as well as money out of the ATM machine. The store next door, 902 Washington Avenue, approximately $400 in cash was taken from the register, as well as — again — a large amount of cash from the ATM machine.” Authorities are investigating over 45 commercial rooftop burglaries in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware over the past 18 months. The brothers and others are suspects in dozens of other crimes. [via KYW]


KILLADELPHIA: 2 More Dead Since U Went To Bed

skullfade.gifPhiladelphia police this morning identified two men killed in homicides yesterday. Robert Daniels, 60, was found stabbed in the chest and arms on the second floor of his house in the 2000 block of West Tioga Street in the city’s Tioga neighborhood, said Officer Christine O’Brien. Police were called to the house at 8:43 p.m. and Daniels was transported to Temple University Hospital and pronounced dead at 9:38 p.m., O’Brien said. At 7:50 a.m., police responded to a report of a body on the highway and found Marcus Barnes, 19, lying in the rear driveway of the 1600 block of South 59th Street in West Philadelphia, O’Brien said. Barnes, of the 6000 block of Girard Avenue, was pronounced dead by medics at the scene at 8:20 a.m. No arrests were reported in either case. [via THE INQUIRER]

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