[Photo by Paul Castoral]
1. We are called Kenneth Masters & Cramske (The Premium Underground) because we’re under the radar, make niche music for no one in particular, and don’t really take ourselves as serious as those statements imply.
2. No, that is not a stupid name for a band and it is generously awesome, slightly rad, although a little presumptuous of you to say that.
3. We are a band because we had “gasoline dreams” and delusions of making music, getting rich, and wasting our days as we saw fit. But reality sank in and we just ended up making music, not getting rich, and wasting our days as we saw fit. We’re very happy with our decision.
4. If we were not a band, we would be well Kmass would probably be a world renown video game champion of my own design with dreams of getting paid to waste time, while working my same dead end job. And Cramske would probably be a fancy arts and craft dude who made t-shirts and trinkets and collected little japanese robot toys and building complex lego sculptures.
5. People say we sound like A Tribe Called Quest.
6. But really we sound like The Premium Underground (Kmass & Cramske).
7. If the cops searched our van, they would find our musical equipment, tons of vinyl records, merchandise, a lot of video games and accessories, some pot, the initial script for the new Indiana Jones Movie, and maybe some unmarked currency that we’d swear we had no clue was there.
8. The first thing we’re gonna do once we become bigger than Jesus is take care of our mothers, then right after that buy a bunch of unnecessary stuff, and say hello to all our “new” friends.
*The Kmass & Pony Pants bill got cancelled at the last minute, but we’re not gonna let that stop us havin’ our band-libbin fun with them
1. We are called Pony Pants because it’s fun to say out loud. Pony Pantsssss! Now you go…see?
2. No, that is not a stupid name for a band and it is …sigh… of you to say that.
3. We are a band because it helps us to not be miserable.
4. If we were not a band, we would be miserable.
5. People say we sound like dancey metal, but they are always shaking their heads as if in disbelief while saying this.
6. But really we sound like a beautiful future where people stop lazily resorting to comparing bands to other bands and just let music stand on its own legs and speak for itself.
7. If the cops searched our van, they would find chips! mostly fritos.
8. The first thing we’re gonna do once we become bigger than Jesus is buy bigger, huger gear. Just tons of gear.