BY TOMMY ZANE Weeks have just flown by and I’ve been oh, so silent. But that just means more chat to share with you, my pets! Ah, The Holidaze — finally over. Yeesh. No hospitalizations or friendships ended in a fury of expletives, thank Goddess. After listening to James Brown for nearly two hours, New Years Eve I was wasted on champagne and vodka — a deadly combination. Frolicking in a makeshift Stevie Nicks-style skirt, spinning in circles to the sounds of Fleetwood Mac’s “Gypsy” nearly made me barf. Other New Year’s hotspots: Robert Drake and company held court at Fluid, and there was the ever-popular Making Time. My sources tell me Sal’s on 12th was on fire. Ten dollar open bar guaranteed the crowd, which had that great mix of gay and straight scenesters, with a sprinkling of trannies. The bartender at Sal’s On 12th said that it’s basically a gay bar, with a mostly moderately-priced sandwich menu til 10 p.m. and a very mixed, gay/straight scene with DJs upstairs on weekends. Said bartender is going for a “Bob and Barbara’s feel”. Well, Tommy Zane is all down with that! Now get down with this! Swedish DJ Eric Prydz gets the first sanctioned remix/mashup with Pink Floyd! Check out the video for “Proper Education (The Wall)”:
KISS 2006 GOODBYE
Things to kiss goodbye forever: Tower Records. It’s truly the end of an era, as big as the dawning of cell phones and ATM cards. Traditional music sales are way down, as year-end industry figures have shown. Time to put this dinosaur to rest. 2006 also will be remembered as the year Philly became condo central. Kiss all the Old Philly charms goodbye as “real” Philadelphians are pushed farther away from Center City and the rich from NYC, Europe, Asia and beyond begin their assault on old dear Philly. Look for Starbucks to pop up every HALF block instead of the current every block. The Trump Towers on Delaware Avenue are filling up, and it’s just a matter of time before the casinos are here. Take heed, Philadelphia — the rampage is coming!
“DREAMGIRLS” DOESN’T DISAPPOINT
Don’t fret, my pets, there is something here to take you away from all this doom and gloom — “Dreamgirls”! This isn’t any miserable, real-life film like “Babel” or that Leo DiCaprio diamond flick, this is pure musical escape. Go for the music. Not the individual songs, per se, but the 60s Motown era as a whole, with all the excitement, costumes and hairdos. Go for Eddie Murphy. And Jennifer Hudson, who’s damn good for a seventh-place American Idol finisher. The Gays go to “Dreamgirls” for the fantasy — it’s a chance to forget your troubles and just get weepy. You straight folks can come as well, if you can handle it.
THREESOME OF THE WEEK
OJ “If I Did It” Simpson, James “officially the new Ray Charles” Brown, and Saddam “already one kid killed imitating my much publicized hanging” Hussein.
ABOUT THIS COLUMN: Are you gay and read Phawker? Or just thinking about it? Becoming gay that is. Because, you know, you “heard good things.” Are you straight but curious how the other team plays? Congressman, we have heard your call and answered your prayers. Our Gaydar Editor Tommy Zane is gay all day and queer for a year, and like all gays he is wickedly funny, stylish, tidy and knows from window treatments. He could also probably kick your ass into next week. But don’t worry, Tommy’s a lover not a fighter. He may be going to hell, but then most of our straight friends are, too. Every MONDAY look for GAYBO. We’ll have a gay old time!