Cover Wars: Who’s Artfag Kung-Fu Is Stronger?

OK, first a mea culpa. Since our first installment of this feature, Phawker has learned a valuable lesson: commenting on the pectoral pulchritude of alt-weekly art directors while praising their creative acumen is neither clever nor edgy, it’s hurtful and immature. Sure some people think it’s sexy, but others find it sexist. And that’s just a few letters away from ‘racist.’ And let’s just stop that kind of talk, RIGHT NOW. Anyway, onward and upward. This week is a tough call. Both alt-weeklies have handsome enough covers, for a change. Pictures of handfuls of dangerous drugs always gets our attention. But just to be clear, Phawker does NOT endorse the glamorization of heroin. We know too many dead junkies. So we don’t like the way the CP cover makes it seem like they are literally handing out stylish smack packets at every charming B&B in Bucks County, like it’s Big Rock Candy Mountain and the handouts grow on bushes and all the boxcars are empty and the sun shines everday on the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees. Cuz’ it’s not really like that. Hello! That’s a hobo song. Besides, we’re diggin’ the Kandinsky-meets-Chagall vibe of PW’s cover and we’ve always been a sucker for early 20th Century Russian avant garde. Sue us.
This Week’s Winner: PW, by a pubic hair.

ABOUT THIS FEATURE: Each week we will make an entirely subjective call on which alt-weekly has the best-looking cover. Yes, we do tap dance about architecture for PW, but they will get no special treatment from us, paybacks bein’ a bitch an’ all. Unless they give us a raise, in which case, they win. Every week.